We  were not a match …

I married my high school sweetheart in 1970. The junior prom was our first date. We went from me wearing his high school ring, fraternity pin, Hope Chest, diamond and then wedding ring. Life couldn’t be better. There is a wise old saying, ” You don’t know someone until you live with them.”

He was never cheap during our courting years when it came to me personally, but when it came to us running a household, it was a completely different story. Coupons had not become popular yet, but there would be ads in the newspaper about five for one dollar mostly on paper goods. After a fashion, our basement could be turned into a fallout shelter with a lifetime supply of toilet paper and paper towels.
When coupons became the rage, there was no stopping him. One time he brought home cat food, and we didn’t have a cat! He said he would trade it with someone at work. We had a cork board next to our phone in the kitchen, stuck chock full of various coupons so we would never go to the market without one.

While cooking pasta he would put dry macaroni on two plates, allow for swelling, and then boil it.
I took a cake decorating class and loved making American Flag cakes. It was the bicentennial year. I ended up giving the kit away, because he said I should start charging for them.
He wrote to every company under the sun telling them how much we liked their product. We received tons of free stuff.

My boss was a neurosurgeon, and he took the staff out to dinner to introduce a young neurosurgeon he was bringing into the practice. After dinner, the doctor went home, and the rest of the staff went out dancing. It got so late I told the new doctor to follow me home because we had extra bedrooms. Our bedroom was right off the kitchen. The doctor started coming on to me, chasing me all over the kitchen before I finally got him to go to bed.

The next morning the phone rang very early. It was my mother telling me my grandfather died. I walked in our bedroom and said, “My grandfather died.” Not a stir. After repeating it three more times to no avail, I said, “When you get up, put some pants on. There is a man sleeping upstairs. We’re out of coffee, I am going out to get some. He sprang up and said, “DON’T FORGET TO TAKE A COUPON.”

It was time to make a change.
I rest my case …